After I Gave Birth & My Husband Saw the Face of Our Baby, He Began Sneaking Out Every Night – So I Followed Him

His head was in his hands, and his shoulders were shaking.

“I keep having these nightmares,” he was saying to the group. “I see her in pain. I see the doctors rushing around. I see myself holding this perfect baby while my wife is dying right next to me. And I feel so angry and helpless that I can’t even look at my daughter without remembering that moment.”

A woman across the circle nodded sympathetically. “Trauma affects everyone differently, Ryan. What you’re experiencing is completely normal for partners who witness difficult births.”

Ryan lifted his head, and I could see tears streaming down his face. “I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I love my daughter. But every time I look at Lily, all I can see is how close I came to losing Julia. How I was completely powerless to help her. I’m terrified that if I get too attached to this beautiful life we’ve built, something will happen to destroy it again.”